Relieve your stress and VENT thread

[ASAJJ VENTRESS]

Ben:  chiming in here.  What Jock says is true.  You should never base your self worth and your direction in life based on being better than someone.  It should be about being better than yourself.  Are you better at these things than you were 6 months ago? That's the only question that should matter.

Also, who says they're better than you?  If they are telling you how much better they are than you, then they're not very good at humility.  If YOU are saying you're not better than they are, maybe you're being too hard on yourself.  Um, and even if they are better than you, so what?  We all have our place in life, we all have our path, or our purpose. 

But you know, I want to thank you about this.  My close friends and fellow mods will no doubt remember me wondering why I was offered Mod-ship.  I haven't been here the longest, I have no talent or skill or desire to learn saber smithing.  I'm not an expert in any field that's discussed here.  Everyone told me the same thing: Sweetie (they may have called me something different) you are valuable. you bring YOURSELF and your own special blend of skills and talents to the table.  So shut up and do your thang.

Now I'm not telling you to shut up, but I'm asking you to rethink what's in your 'toolbox' and maybe you'll see that you're really not as unspecial as you think you are.

[Torinn Zoler]

Thanks guys. It's refreshing to hear from a new opinion.  :)

[docdoom]

Anyone think this forum is a lot like "Cheers"?

Also, Ben, I whole heartedly agree with Barriss and Jock. In order to find what your good at you need to focus on yourself and not be discouraged by anyone elses achievements. I have a similar situation where a classmate 4 years younger than me is a better Director than I but she doesn't have my artistic 'eye' in framing/angling shots, so we compliment each other well. You'll find you niche, trust me.

[Dearth Breather]

*patpats everyone who needs it*

I've been feeling really down lately.  Every area I seem to have skill in, I'm surpassed by either my brother or one of my friends. I can't think of my purpose in life and I really don't know why I'm here. Everything I can do, someone does it better than me. I've done speech for three years, and I haven't done good enough. I've played the piano for four years, and my brother does better than me. I try to build sabers, and I can't even do that good enough. The only thing I feel I truly excel in is worshiping God, so I feel that that is the only thing I should do. *stares sadly at saber* Even that tried-and-true snap-hiss can't cheer me up anymore. :(
 

Ah, here's something I can definitely relate to. Friend, if we want to be miserable in life, one of the best things we can do is to compare ourselves with others. There's always someone out there who seems to be better than us at something--even the things we're good at. For a while, the idea that there were better writers, better gamers, better staff spinners out there really bothered me.

That is, until a wise elder told me that God has a custom path for me to tread.  He has that for all His children. Our job is to find that path and walk it, and not go off on someone else's path.

On a related note, you may want to open your Bible and check out the parable of the three servants in Matthew 25:14-23. Remember the servant who only received two talents? The master commended him just as he commended the one with five.

You also mentioned something about serving the Lord. Excellent! Instead of focusing on who's better than whom, be kind to yourself and live your life for an audience of One. Ultimately, it is God you will answer to, not your brother or your friends. God won't ask you how good you were at speech, piano-playing, saber building, or whatever compared to them. He'll ask you how you used your speech, piano-playing and saber building to love and serve others and Him, regardless of your level of skill.

[Adegan4Antonio]

This board is so Full of Wisdom & kindeness towards each other.  I can understand where he is coming from, never having a feeling of belonging, or being good enough, life can be tough at times.  I have faith that God put us exactly where we are supposed to be.  It may not always be the way we like, or how we want.  I think it's those times he tests us, to see how we are growing, maturing, & learning to become a much better person than we were the day before.  In all honesty, I don't feel like I have anything to offer.  Sometimes I get depressed :(  There are places I would love to be in my life right now.  But, I have to remember I am where I am meant to be in that moment.  Never stop dreaming, or hoping...it's one of God's most wondrous gifts.  God Bless you All & MTFBWYA  :)

[Dearth Breather]

This board is so Full of Wisdom & kindeness towards each other.  I can understand where he is coming from, never having a feeling of belonging, or being good enough, life can be tough at times.  I have faith that God put us exactly where we are supposed to be.  It may not always be the way we like, or how we want.  I think it's those times he tests us, to see how we are growing, maturing, & learning to become a much better person than we were the day before.  In all honesty, I don't feel like I have anything to offer.  Sometimes I get depressed :(  There are places I would love to be in my life right now.  But, I have to remember I am where I am meant to be in that moment.  Never stop dreaming, or hoping...it's one of God's most wondrous gifts.  God Bless you All & MTFBWYA  :)

*patpats* You are your own offering, as well as your presence and encouragement. :)

[Torinn Zoler]

I see what you all mean, and thanks. Every one of you. I feel a lot better now. :)

[Adegan4Antonio]

This board is so Full of Wisdom & kindeness towards each other.  I can understand where he is coming from, never having a feeling of belonging, or being good enough, life can be tough at times.  I have faith that God put us exactly where we are supposed to be.  It may not always be the way we like, or how we want.  I think it's those times he tests us, to see how we are growing, maturing, & learning to become a much better person than we were the day before.  In all honesty, I don't feel like I have anything to offer.  Sometimes I get depressed :(  There are places I would love to be in my life right now.  But, I have to remember I am where I am meant to be in that moment.  Never stop dreaming, or hoping...it's one of God's most wondrous gifts.  God Bless you All & MTFBWYA  :)

*patpats* You are your own offering, as well as your presence and encouragement. :)

Thank You...Everyone here has something good to offer, we all need encouragement sometimes :)God Bless!!!

[Dearth Breather]

Thank You...Everyone here has something good to offer, we all need encouragement sometimes :)God Bless!!!

God bless you, too. It's nice to have the forums back up. :D

[Amptrooper]

I have not slept in two days and nights!!!! Sometimes being an amputee just sucks! I had to come home early from work as I was messing up a lot due to being very sleepy.  It is very dangerous for me to mess up at work as I could get hurt very bad or mess up in making someones prosthetic and hurt them. Not good. I really need sleep.  See, the problem is I have MASSIVE nerve damage due to the accident not necessarily the amputation. The amputation actually fixed a lot of the damaged nerves. Well, the doctors (not being amputees themselves) are clueless about a good many things about being an amputee. Anywho, they have cut me off form pain medication. They think I am a druggie!
Here is what I do. I like Lortab (because it works). I usually take 5 or 7.5 mg. Now a druggie takes a good amount to get high.  I take one maybe one and a half one hour before bed so that the pain at night does not wake me. I take none during the day as I try to keep busy and that takes my mind off the pain.  So, I guess I am some big time druggie and need rehab or something! Stupid Dr.'s! >:( 
I would like to see them have their leg cut off and then have some two legged freak tell them they don't need any help with pain!
I bet their tone would change big time!
Okay, got that off my chest!  Just really gets me upset. I just don't know how to make them understand.
I will pray. That is a great place to start!  ;) 

[Dearth Breather]

I have not slept in two days and nights!!!! Sometimes being an amputee just sucks! I had to come home early from work as I was messing up a lot due to being very sleepy.  It is very dangerous for me to mess up at work as I could get hurt very bad or mess up in making someones prosthetic and hurt them. Not good. I really need sleep.  See, the problem is I have MASSIVE nerve damage due to the accident not necessarily the amputation. The amputation actually fixed a lot of the damaged nerves. Well, the doctors (not being amputees themselves) are clueless about a good many things about being an amputee. Anywho, they have cut me off form pain medication. They think I am a druggie!
Here is what I do. I like Lortab (because it works). I usually take 5 or 7.5 mg. Now a druggie takes a good amount to get high.  I take one maybe one and a half one hour before bed so that the pain at night does not wake me. I take none during the day as I try to keep busy and that takes my mind off the pain.  So, I guess I am some big time druggie and need rehab or something! Stupid Dr.'s! >:( 
I would like to see them have their leg cut off and then have some two legged freak tell them they don't need any help with pain!
I bet their tone would change big time!
Okay, got that off my chest!  Just really gets me upset. I just don't know how to make them understand.
I will pray. That is a great place to start!  ;) 

*patpats Amptrooper* And I shall pray along with you. :D

[Amptrooper]

Thanks Dearth Breather.
Guess what? It is 2:33 and yes I am still awake  :'(   I slept for 2 hours. 2 hours  :-\
Something has got to change. I don't' need sleeping pills as all they do is make me very tired and awake.
Just something to ease the pain when I am at rest.Oh well I guess.  :-[

[Dearth Breather]

Thanks Dearth Breather.
Guess what? It is 2:33 and yes I am still awake  :'(   I slept for 2 hours. 2 hours  :-\
Something has got to change. I don't' need sleeping pills as all they do is make me very tired and awake.
Just something to ease the pain when I am at rest.Oh well I guess.  :-[

You're welcome, Amptrooper. :)

Sorry to hear you're unable to sleep. Perhaps you'd like to try some meditation, energy therapy or NLP? I have a couple of suggestions for you if you're willing to try them:

Suggestion 1: Meditate upon Psalm 4:8, or any other passage that feels reassuring to you.

Suggestion 2: Assume a comfortable position, close your eyes, and try to relax in spite of the pain. Slow and deepen your breathing (Make sure to breathe from the diaphragm.).  Every time you exhale, count a number starting from one, then two, and so on for as long as you need.

If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the exercise. Just let the thoughts pass without clinging to them.

Suggestion 3: Locate the middle of your collarbone with your finger. Count three inches or notches down then three to the side (on both sides). Cross your arms and tap the spots where your finger stopped earlier. You'll know you're hitting the right spots if they hurt a little when you depress them. Tap until you feel calmer. Take a few deep breaths.

Suggestion 4: Think of something that bothers you (E.g. your pain). Hold your index finger in front of your eyes and trace a Z pattern in the air with it back and forth, and then follow the movement of that finger with your eyes. Try not to blink when you do so. Keep on repeating the tracing until you can't hold back from not blinking any longer.

Take a few deep breaths and then think about the thing that bothered you again. How do you feel now?

Anyway, I hope those helped. Those are only some basic techniques that may help. Are there an licensed energy therapists or NLP therapists near your area? They may be able to offer you more advanced pain management techniques.

[docdoom]

I feel like a terrible friend.

I'm in a horrible situation, my friend and his gf split not too long ago. I was friends with Stuart (male,doy lol) first but I was friendly with Lindsey (his ex) too. I have them both on Facebook and I talk to them both regularly, but lately Stuart has been getting moody with me and all because I talk to his ex. I wont lie, I do think she is very pretty and incredibly sweet, but she is my friend's ex and it was never my intention to 'woo' her, just be her friend as I always had.

So the situation got really bad yesterday when Stuart snapped and went nuts at us both. Accusing me of dissrespecting him and all manners of nasty things to her. To save my friendship with Stuart I agreed to not speak with her again. But I did it for Lindsey too as he was giving her serious grief. But I wasn't totally honest with Stuart as I still talk to her but just not through Facebook. So that is why I feel so terrible, for lying to a friend. Lindsey is fine with me talking to her and since I agreed to 'not speak to her' Stuart has been a bit more douchey towards her but not interested in her socially. I think he did this to keep me away from her, a jealous reaction.

But, on the other hand I feel it's my prerogative to be friends with who I choose. Coupled with the fact that when another friend dumped his then gf, Stuart jumped at the chance to bed her (so him saying I disrespect him is hypocritical), a situation which I found myself a part of which was horrible (in that I knew the dirty truth but couldn't tell anyone).

I really like Lindsey but Stuart doesn't like the idea of me and her as friends. He doesn't care about her and she has no more interest in him.

Am I doing the right thing?

[Master Jedye]

Episode I of LOVE LETTERS TO JEDYE

Am I doing the right thing?

I won't tell you if you're doing the right thing or not, since... if you have to ask the question, you probably already know the answer.   ;)

But here's what's happening.  Stuart seems a bit immature and doesn't want Lindsey to be happy.  The old "If I can't be happy, then no can be happy".

And you should really be questioning Stuart's friendship... not yours. 

Here's what I would have done.  "Stuart... sorry you and Lindsey didn't work out... but she's a friend of mine.  I'll give you both the courtesy of being "Switzerland"  and I won't pick a side.  So please don't ask me too.  Thanks... bro hug"