When I was in elementary school, I had a few neighborhood friends that I hung out with religiously. My mom and grandparents (in their 60's) worked 6-7 days a week, leaving me lonely, bored, and the average escapist to the realm of Spider-Man and Power Rangers.
One day, my friend and his father took us to the theater. We saw A New Hope. I sat there, for the first time, blown away by the sheer size of the screen, the volume of the sound, and the alteration of my reality. When it was over, I was high off the movie (and probably a lot of sugar). I got back to my friend's home and he said, "Want to watch episodes V and VI on VHS?" My. Mind. Was. Blown.
Like all kids, I swore I would have a lightsaber someday. A sword that no doubt would give me the power to block imaginary laser beams that can only hit storm troopers.
Fast forward years and Episode I appears on the scene. I loved it. Jar Jar and all. I walked out of that theater with my friends in JHS telling me that the movie was a piece of sh*t. I nodded. I went home. I bought the VHS when it came out. I watched it over and over.
When Episode II came out, I didn't even see it. My reason? It got bad ratings. I was a smug high-schooler. I caught Episode III in theaters without finishing Episode II. Anakin's awkward transition to the dark side, frog-bouncing Yoda, and the high ground broke the illusion.
It wasn't until years later, post-college, on a whim, I rewatched all of Star Wars. Proud of the nostalgia from the original trilogy, focusing on Ewan McGregor's performance in the prequels, investing myself emotionally to make up for some of the more jarring scenes, I end up wondering... how much would it cost to get a replica saber? Something that can be an ode, a form of homage, to my youth? An item that you get because you live once and because you work now and you aren't frivolous.
On to E-Bay I go. And two months prior to January 2012, I saw that seller fx-sabers auctioned a Graflex V during Christmas time. It sold for $1.5k. I just missed it...
I found my way to the FX-Sabers forums and lurked. Boy did I lurk. I still barely understand the technology, I like that I don't fully understand it, it retains its magic. I wasn't looking for a toy. I wanted something high-end, sentimental, personal, and to be forever displayed in my own little shrine of nostalgia. It wasn't until I purchased Master Yoda's Graflex IV, did I decide that my "collection" wouldn't be complete without Obi-Wan's lightsaber.
You can imagine my dismay when I found out that Master Yoda's Negotiator was no longer in production. I had contacted Master Yoda about this and he said he may have something in the works in about a year. I subsequently posted, in what I thought to be futility, in the wanted list.
Low and behold, a forum-member swings in and offers me his 2008 Negotiator. A beautiful hilt at the price of a down-payment for a car: $3,000. It took all of five minutes to weigh the pros vs. the con's and to check my own sanity meter before replying, "Yes, please."
With the Negotiator in my possession, I then contacted Master Yoda for potentially an upgrade. It was Scorpion's post that blew me away and I thought I'd be one lucky devil if I could get something similar; something that would make this Negotiator, which was in excellent condition, more my own. $1.5K (can you really put a price on love?) and the rest is history. In April of 2013, a whole year and quarter from my whimsical ponder, the following arrived at my doors:
Good packaging; nothing short of expectation.
Shiny.
Now, before we move forward, I have to say that I am eccentric. I am a little quirky. I take pleasure in never playing with my toys. Unboxed collectibles as a kid. Comics sleeved. All my cards were sleeved the moment they were unpacked. Therefore, the following account is told, with years of mild insanity, an experience that was equal part pain as it is delight.
The pommel shifts off. I don't mind saying it makes me nervous. It's my first time.
You take out the battery pack, it connects precisely into two small holes. I can do upper-level mathematics, I read novels, I can answer hundreds of e-mails a day, I'm logical and have good hands. And yet, seeing it for the first time, I am struck with an animal's fear that I will be unable to reconnect the battery pack.
The pack is covered by a small magnetic strip. It serves to close the lid, keep the cover in place, and is nothing short of genius that can be missed at a glance. It is an artist's care to think this far into what he does.
The lid is off, the battery inserted, and the saber speaks.
That little purple light makes me happy like how a little purple light on a lightsaber can make a man happy.
When it goes on, for the first time, the sound booms. The light is intense. It's so intense that my eyes hurt just a little staring at its reflection off the bed. I take a photo, I stare at it, it's a nice blue, it's nicer that I know I won't fire it up ever again.
I turn the outer shell of the handle. It spins smoothly. It can spin a full 360. This mildly upsets me. I wish it had a point of resistance. I wish it could tell me how far it's supposed to go. Why? Because I don't want to break it. The inside is intricate. I stare at it. I watch the wiring. For a moment, I think Obi-Wan really cared about this. But then I realize the truth is far more fantastical: a man really cared when he made this. This is a summation of someone's childhood, the low moments he broke through, the nights when he swore it wasn't worth it, the thankless days no one will ever know, and the work, effort, sweat, relentlessness to push one's own craft. Plus, it's pretty.
I probably could have picked a much most decorative and presentable part of the room, but I was excited and you don't always think when you're excited. The room has a few lights, it's well lit. The saber makes the room seem dark. It's really stunning.
And there you have it folks. My little personal review in appreciation for a masterpiece. I hope you enjoyed the show and forgive me my indulgence. I didn't want to do a review modeled after how most critics do them. Mainly because I can't. I'm unable to explain what it took or what makes it possible. I just know that it's a beauty and it closes a circle that traces back to my childhood and connects it to the man whom now knows what it takes to make an honest living.
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