In a surprise move, Plecter Labs just announced that it has merged with Naigon’s Electronic Creations (NEC) to form “Burnt Toast Industries”. No longer competing with each other, the two saber sound giants have combined their resources and expertise to develop an amazing new product that makes all current options obsolete! After only a short time they discovered previously unheard of possibilities by combining NEC’s Saber Igniter with a Plecter Labs Nano Biscotte and some other unidentified technologies. They playfully dubbed the new product the “Burnt Biscuit”, and it is the future of saber sound!
Let’s take a look at the features!
- Smaller than a postage stamp!
- Runs for up to 10 years on a single 1.5V wrist-watch battery!
- Thanks to built-in quantum storage techniques, has support for trillions of sound fonts. No more SD Card woes!
- Can project a self-contained beam of light up to two meters in length. It makes pixel blades and LEDs obsolete!
- Thanks to an advanced new type of sensor, the blade color automatically adjusts color and flicker to your mood. No more tweaking settings!
- Supports billions of accent LEDs in any sequence you can imagine!
As if that weren’t enough, the board INSTALLS ITSELF! No more messy soldering! No more wiring diagrams! Throw out your soldering iron and all your electrical tools! Just drop it into any tube-shaped object and that tube instantly becomes a saber!
Despite the amazing set of features, combining supply chains of the two companies allows for production of these new boards at a unit cost is only 50 cents per board! That’s right, one half USD!
Now, as with most new technologies, there are some drawbacks.
First, for undisclosed reasons, the boards can only be produced in the UK. So, customers outside the UK can expect to pay a 200 USD shipping charge for each unit bringing the total price to 200.50 USD delivered.
Second, I am told that board’s underlying technology is incompatible with SmoothSwing fonts. I know that might be a deal-breaker for some. Honestly, it made me think twice about even posting this, but I think at least a few people might find the trade-offs worth the advantages, but time will tell.
So, let's all welcome the new Burnt Biscuit!
Remember, you hear this first right here on FX-Sabers!
This post is a joke. All claims made within it are fictious attempts at humor. Happy April 1st!